Today I want to talk about what is going on within one of my friendships.
Disclaimer : All names have been changed for privacy reasons. To protect their identities, no personal information will be given out .
So I’ve been having a sh*t ton of drama happening with one of my friends. Her name is Jenny. I don’t really know how to start this without explaining the whole story of how we are friends, but I don’t want to bore everyone… Ah, what the heck. I might as well explain.
Jenny was my friend in high school. We became friends because she was dating my brother. So nice simple friendship until she and her (former) best friend had a big falling out. I don’t remember what it was about and I really don’t care to. So, I became the best friends with her along with Cal (who, if you’ve read my previous posts, was my best friend of 4 years). Everything was nice and simple until my brother and her broke up. We stayed friends, until my first semester of college (had a falling out), but it was not easy as my brother was still a topic she talked about. Especially when he started to date her ex-best friend.
So, that’s the background. We’ve only started to be friends again because her and my brother got back together last year in December. My brother wanted me to patch things up with her. Which I did because our falling out was ridiculously immature and unnecessary. Months pass, problems surfaced with my brother and her, then with me and her and our other friends but we all pushed though it.
Until now, of course.
Since she has gotten a job, about a month ago, all of us girls haven’t been able to hang out with her much. Not because we didn’t want to, but because we all were busy. Our friend Kristina live about 45 minutes away and that’s a lot of gas to put in her truck when she doesn’t have a job. Sue and I have many things to do at home. Sue’s mother works 12 hours every day so Sue keeps the house clean and runs errands for her mother. I, personally, help my mom take care of my grandfather, do chores, feed the horses, and help my mom organize the garage, which is a big mess and a time consuming task. My father also works long hours at the prison as a maintenance man.
And I have other friends besides Jenny, Kristina, and Sue. They want to hang out with me so I make time when they ask. Jenny is a spontaneous “let’s hang out today”, while my other friends plan with me. It’s easier to hang out with someone who plans with you than someone who texts in the middle of you doing housework for the day.
2 weeks ago, I wanted the girls to meet this boy that I have been talking to and going on dates with. I had only told my mother and, because she was texting me when I was hanging out with him, Sue knew. My other friend, Kristina, was really happy that I’ve found a guy I like and congratulated me. Jenny on the other hand said, “Always out of the loop…”. I told her not to start an argument and that stopped her texting in the group chat. So a couple days later, she apologized, not even a heartfelt one, and asked when she can meet the guy. Well I told her plans got cancelled because they did. His friend came back from basic training and he went to hang out with him.
So this weekend, Jenny wanted to hang out. She texted in the group chat, on Christmas at 10pm, wondering if we wanted to see Into The Woods on Sunday (today). I couldn’t today I had family over, so I explained that. Nobody else texted back, so she tried to guilt trip the girls, I told her guilt tripping wouldn’t work. She texted me only next and we talked about her apology and what she has been going through. She said she wanted to kill herself because we hadn’t been talking to her and because of how shitty this past month has been. She threw out that Kristina had stopped talking to her when she said she wanted to kill herself. That was false. I know Kristina would have told us to get to Jenny’s right away. Kristina told me she didn’t say that to her; Jenny only said she hated living in her parents house and that work has been stressful.
Kristina had texted me screenshots of her and Jenny’s conversation from last night. Let me just say when Jenny doesn’t get her way she starts to treat the person like shit. Kristina didn’t take it and called Jenny out on it. I basically watched the whole fight go down. The summary of what they said is Jenny blamed Kristina for saying no to hanging out because Kristina had things to do around the house. Kristina told Jenny to stop treating her like shit because she couldn’t hang out. Jenny then accused Kristina that she’s making more time for Kristina’s boyfriend than us girls. Kristina had only been with her boyfriend on Thanksgiving and then Christmas day because of his work.
Obviously Jenny still has a problem with Kristina dating after her lsst break up about,oh let’s see, 6 months ago. Theeeeennn, Jenny said that she did tell Kristina about wanting to kill herself. Kris said no, I would have remembered that. Jenny had nothing to say to that.
This has turned out to be a horribly long post so I’ll try to wrap it up quickly.
Overall, this friendship with Jenny has brought back my anxiety and I’m very angry with her for starting drama within our friend group. If she had just come out to us and told us what was going on instead of lashing out at us and making us angry at her, we wouldn’t have to deal with this high school like drama.
I’m a nineteen year old young woman and I don’t want to deal with this. I already had a friendship like this before and I don’t want to have another friendship like it.
I apologize, this post is such a bore and nobody wants to read about friendship drama between girl friends. I just needed to rant about this stupidity. If you powered through this post, I would like some advice and if you want something clarified, I will do it for you.
Until next post,