I woke up early on the first day, almost sweating with nervousness. I shakily get my bag ready as I knew last night it would help me focus if I did it in the morning. I look over to Rio and she seemed just as nervous. We ate breakfast silently, both our shoulders tense and our stomachs uneasy. As the clock got closer to 8:45 a.m., we finished getting ready and shouldered our bags, almost embarrassingly clutching our purses closer for comfort. We half dragged each other out of our dorm and into the sweltering sun and dry heat. We talked quietly, anxiously rolling our eyes around the silent campus.
Rio reluctantly separated as we came upon her building, I weakly smiled and said “Good luck”, and she nodded laughing nervously. I turned my attention to my own shakiness then, choking back tears. I didn’t look anybody in the eye, thankful for my sunglasses that hid my eyes. I grabbed a piece of paper out of my bag, triple checking my building and room number.
I sighed in relief, knowing I still had time to steady myself before I got to my building. I tried to keep my pace slow but years of keeping up with my mothers quick steps I couldn’t walk slowly without concentrating. It was torture when I glanced up and my building was there, and I quickened my pace when I noticed people behind me.
I put my sunglasses on my head and kept my eyes forward, faces swimming in my vision as I tried to get through the crowd. I can’t remember if they were silent because it was morning or because I just couldn’t hear them over my pounding heart.
I was early, and I picked a seat were I was hidden in plain sight, the side-middle of the room. I had enough room to see the board and be comfortable with having people behind me. Slowly the class fills up and somebody sits beside me. I’m frozen, I just keep my head down and never looked over. Class starts and I find it easy to fall into the routine of math. Easy, I learned all this in high school.
Class ends and I sigh in relief, letting all the others leave before me and then I leave, hurriedly stepping out of the math building and chuckle quietly, mockingly at myself.
That was only my first class, how will I make it in my others?
Such a scared-y cat.
Until next post,
P.S. I’m so sorry guys, I wanted to post this a week and a half ago but I just didn’t have time. I promise I will try making weekly blog updates, but don’t take my word for it yet. Oh, and this was just a little taste of how I was feeling the whole day. If I kept going on about my whole day you would be bored to death. Just know that I really was nervous but the day went by so fast it was surreal. Besides, I don’t even know if I really like this post because of the style of how I’ve written it.
Edited: March 24th, 2016