I apologize. It is seriously a lot harder to post every week when I notice that my life is exceptionally boring. As it were I will still try my hardest to post as often as possible (like it’ll make a difference, but whatever).
I made it to the halfway mark of my first semester. I’m really happy I have survived this long. Since I have I need to crack down on myself. Biology is hitting me hard, like seriously I thought I had a knack for science. Knacks don’t help in college. I’m learning that the hard way, but I can’t make any more mistakes in my first semester. I need a good G.P.A.
But, I have been having doubts about what my majors should be. I know everyone goes through it but I am seriously thinking about it.
Let’s skip a week into the future (as this was saved as a post a couple weeks ago).
I talked to my mom and my cousin, with my other family in hearing distance about my want/need to change my double major into majoring in Biology and minoring in languages and photography.
My cousin, Amanda, who I can’t believe actually gave me a lot of perception and wisdom. I enjoyed talking to her, she actually sat there and listen to my problems from my roommate concerns to my fear of not getting anything right. I didn’t even mind talking in the middle of the kitchen with my close family going in and out. It made me happy that I had that support even though she’s mostly a thousand miles away from my close family and I.
I told her about how I felt in the forensic science class, even though it is a basic course and I’m easily passing it, I don’t feel like I’m happy or even that I will be happy in that major. I confessed that Rio (my roommate) had decided by the end of the second semester here that she’s going to move back home and go to college there. I said that I’m disappointed in my roommate for moving back home, I felt like if she didn’t make so many excuses to go back home she’d enjoy college. It doesn’t even feel like Rio is giving college a chance. I understand that she is 4 hours away from home and home is comfort and security. I’m home sick and I’m just thirty minutes away from home. But it’s not like I can just get up and leave and go home; I don’t have a car, I don’t have a job, and my family is carrying on as usual. I told Amanda that and she agreed; she told me she’s only five minutes away from her mom and she’s homesick even though she’s been out of the house for 10 years and has a husband and a child.
I could be being judgmental but I’m getting off track.
She asked me what I wanted in life and I told her I wanted my own practice being a Forensic Pathologist, but that wasn’t the only thing I wanted.
I want to travel. I want to become pat of the Peace Corps. Or the Red Cross. I want to hitch hike across Europe. I want to go to Africa, China, Korea, Japan, South America. I don’t want to waste my life in school, I want to see and experience the world. I want to get lost. I want to learn many, many languages. I want to enjoy my life.
Is that to much to ask?
Until next post,
P.s. This was supposed to be up more than a couple weeks ago. I’m sooo sorry. I wanted to post this after fall break (Oct. 10th or so) but then i just didn’t then i wanted to post it around the 19th of October THAT didn’t happen. But I’m posting it now. I hope you enjoy it!!
Edited: March 24th, 2016
I look back at this specific post and it makes me cringe and notice how petty and judgmental I was, and then I expected everyone to understand why myself couldn’t do school anymore.
It is funny how 2 events could change many things in your life and your perspective on things very quickly, because I remember regretting those words I said about Rio and he going back home to do school there. And now, coming back to this post almost 2 years later is cringe worthy, and humbling on how small minded I was.