Hey everyone, I know it’s been a long time. I’ve been busy with life but now I’m laying in my room at 3am finding myself with a little time.
So, he was suspended for quite a while but 2 weeks ago I learned that he filed for an appeal for his suspension. As is his every right to. There is a hearing on Tuesday, and Mister C said I could choose not to go.
I don’t really want to go.
Knowing that me not going could help him get back into school makes me cringe. I never wanted this, we have 2 more freaking weeks of school the hell does he want–
Never mind, we know he wants to get back close to me. To mess with me? To just enjoy having power back over me? That I don’t know.
I shouldn’t feel afraid but I am. I try to act tough but I’m just seriously scared to see his face again. Like so scared I’m feeling sick. He makes me sick.
I have the choice to not go to the ‘hearing’. I don’t want to go, but I know my family would want me to get this over with. I don’t know if they understand how scared I actually am.
I don’t really know what to do but I have exactly 24 hours to choose what to do. And I just really want to take the cowards way out and not do it. I want to go at the same time knowing that he would get satisfaction from knowing that I wasn’t there to defend myself.
I really, really don’t know what to do. I want this over with but it won’t be unless I take an active part to end it.
Until next post,