Hello my lovelies.
It’s been a long month, but it really hasn’t been. All my friends have started new classes this spring semester. I feel slightly left out. I have tons of free time and I am getting lonely very quickly with them being so busy with college. I seriously need to get a time consuming hobby. I need to get a job, too.
They seem to be having a good start to the semester, though they aren’t friends with Jenny anymore. Sue and Jenny argued/debated about how it didn’t seem like Sue and I (Emmii) were joking with her. Savvy jumped into the fight and said somethings that were harsh.
So, it seems, I am Jenny’s only friend. I told the other girls (Savvy, Sue, and Kristina) that it’s okay that I’m always, somehow, in the middle. I lied, kinda. I am always put in the middle so I can handle it. I just don’t like it. Sue texted me,” I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry.If only I had kept my big mouth shut none of this would be happening.” I told her that it’s okay and that it’s not her fault. She said, “None of this is okay. You don’t deserve to be put in the middle and to see our fights and I brought this on top of your head. I don’t deserve a friend like you because with everything I do you reap the consequences but you don’t complain”.
So I told her to shut the **** up and that if I have to say it’s okay one more time, I’ll kick her ***. She shut up real quick. I don’t want another emotional wreck on my hands along with Jenny and myself. Jenny says that she left the group messages (on Facebook) because she just can’t handle all of the messages she gets. I wanted to tell her that she just can ignore the messages until she was ready to talk, but that would start a whole new ordeal that I just didn’t want. She went onto say that all the fights were weighing heavily on her depression. I wanted to scream. What the hell do you mean?! You’re the one who’s starting the fights.
Alas I said “Okay.”; because why do I need to start a fight? Jenny went on to something about the group message and what Sue told the other girls to stop messaging on it. I said, “I don’t know and I’m really not paying any attention to anything right now. I’m just tired of what is going on”. She said “I’m here to talk and if it’s about me, I’m sorry”. I told her the truth that some of it is about you. I said, “I don’t know how you can fix it, I don’t know what you can fix. Maybe I do, but I don’t know how to put it into words. I’m just sick and tired of all the stupid drama. My friendships just seem to be giving me anxiety and I’m just done. I don’t know what to do and , frankly, I don’t want to do anything”.
Yadayada, the conversation went on for a while longer but I don’t feel like talking about how she has no one to comfort her after the fight and that she’s not throwing a pity party for herself and that the girls aren’t my responsibility to keep from fighting ect. ect.. She wouldn’t have started the argument if she knew this was going to happen to me.
So, either the girls are taking a break from Jenny or they just aren’t friends with her anymore.
Ahhh, this post wasn’t supposed to be about girl drama but I guess I needed to talk about it somewhere.
I’ll make sure to post something different tomorrow.
Over and Out,
Edited: March 25th, 2016:
I was debating on also taking down and deleting this post, since it had sparked a fight in between Sue and I as she had found this blog through a mutual friends blog. She took what I had said and put it in a middle of a fight that we were having that wasn’t close to what this was about. I was struggling with deleting the post but I’ve just decided to keep it, since I still stand by my feelings and even the words I used. If she finds my blog again, she can come talk to me about it, if it still bothers her. But I stand by what I said and my feelings behind it.