The “Dad Bod” Debate

I know I haven’t been on here recently and, once again, I am on my knees begging for forgiveness. I have neglected my blog and I neglected the Blogging 101 course. (Bows head in shame) I will be going through the Blogging 101 course and picking topics from there, but I will not do them all. I thought, instead of a lengthy update on my life that no one wants to hear, I would write about the new “fad” that is the “Dad Bod”.

 http://theodysseyonline.com/clemson/dad-bod/97484 This is the original article, as far as I can figure out. The internet has exploded with responses to this “Dad Bod” fad, ranging from total support to absolute violent hate. The original article starts out with “if you hadn’t noticed it lately, girls are all about the dad bod” and continues with reasons why the “dad bod” is attractive, such as “we will know what he looks like at 45”, “[the dad bod] doesn’t intimidate us”, and “we like being the pretty one”. Okay, not totally bad reasons….. But, also, not totally good reasons. Sure, we will think we know what he will look like at 45 so we will “know what you’re getting”, but at the same time, if he continues with that IDGAF (I don’t give a f*ck) attitude, his body will look hella different than what he looks like now. Also having a beer belly significantly ups the risk of heart attacks and if he already has one now, how bad will it be for him then??

I’m not shaming the dad bod, totally rock the dad body, girls will be attracted to you, lots of us like some fluff on our guy, but I do want you to worry about your health. Such as I am going to worry about my health. I have the problem with “we like being the pretty one”. “[Girls] like being the center of attention” is toooootally off base for lots of girl. What that is doing is generalizing that women like to take up all the attention for being the ‘pretty’ one. Are we only attracted to his body because it’ll make us look better? That is a very selfish and would probably hurt his self esteem, and you’re the one sucking on his lowering self esteem and building yours up. But I do agree with how the dad bod “doesn’t intimidate us”. Because it’s true, it’s a very normal and average body, and we (the women who are attracted to dad bods) would try and count on the fact that they know the body isn’t perfect and not expect us to be perfect either.

Here we have an article at Elite Daily: http://elitedaily.com/women/stop-accepting-dad-bod/1025403/ There are MULTIPLE articles on Elite Daily about the dad bod. It’s almost to much information to weed through. I have to say I’m not in league with either of these websites, I just knew linking back to them would help me and others know what I’m talking about. So what Gigi Engle is talking about in this first article is that ‘THIS FAD IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE”. Okay, totally respect that as her opinion, but everything came to a screeching halt when she started saying that “are these women THAT insecure?”. WOAH, WAIT A SECOND. Women can be attracted to whatever body type and not be insecure. WOMEN ARE ATTRACT TO DIFFERENT THINGS. Doesn’t mean we are insecure, have low self-esteem, or even anything else. We can like whoever the f*ck we want to.

“Men, you simply cannot get away with this. It’s insanity. The fact that we’re glorifying men being pudgy and simultaneously berating women with too-thin madness is disturbing.”

Okay, sure, I get it. I’m a feminist myself. It IS insanity when we berate women with the ‘BE THIN, WORKOUT, HERE”S THE BEST BODY TYPE, WEAR THIS MAKE-UP, WEAR THIS, DON’T WEAR THAT’ so on and so forth. But, aren’t men being thrown into the pit now too? On multiple website, magazines, and commercials, media has plastered ripped bodies of men on everything. But, don’t get me wrong, men do have more freedom in their body types. For centuries, it didn’t matter if you were fat, skinny, muscled, lean, narrow, short or tall as a man, you were treated like a person. While women have had to conform to what men were attracted to at the time, meaning to be treated as an object. Many men wanted a nice plump woman with wide hips which in their mind it meant well fed (healthy) and could bear many children. Then men wanted tiny, willowy women and then tiny waists but totally hourglass. So on and so forth. But men never had to change themselves for women to find them attractive as women were/are taught to value a man by his intelligence, but a women is valued by her appearance.  So yes, maybe now we are glorifying the male body as an average body, but haven’t we always done that? I do not believe that you should tell men that they “cannot get away with this”. Because then you are pushing what you want gender norms to be down their throats. And gender norms are not supposed to be what YOU find attractive. I do agree with her that accepting the dad bod is not nullifying societies beauty standard, it’s making an even bigger gap between men and women’s beauty standards. I disagree with her that women are desperate to find a “mate” or that women are settling or that men are using their financial statues as an excuse to have dad bods. What excuse guys do have is that their beauty standards are WAY different than womens’.

“Any time I see a smoking hot super model cozied up to some chubby, fleshy actor or millionaire, I shudder. How can these icky dudes get these hot women? The answer is they can because we allow them to.”

Woah, woah, woah. Let’s take a minute and chill. You “shudder” at two people who are being intimate/hanging out with each other because of their bodies? How dare you call them “icky dudes”?? That is barely veiled man-hating (and women shaming) right there. What do you know about those women and men? Maybe he has a medical issue, maybe she works out for herself, maybe they like each other foe personalities…? Is that a hard concept?

“If we ladies are going to be forced to work for our rock hard bodies, men should be expected to meet the same criteria. It just isn’t fair that they get to stop trying at 18, and we’re not allowed to do the same. Frankly, it’s a crock of sh*t. If I can’t have a Mom Bod, your dad bod can get f*cked.”

Woah, okay. I feel this generalizes men now. Lots of men meet the criteria, lot’s of men don’t. Oh and women are just the same with that too. Lots of men find lots of women attractive, whether either gender is rock hard body, soft and squishy, or anything else. It is a crock of sh*t when society put unequal standards on men and women and that both genders (and all in between) are SHAMED into hating their bodies no matter what body type you have. It is a crock of sh*it when, instead of celebrating with men and then educating people about different body types of ALL genders, you get angry and spout out hateful words to both men and women about what bodies they have and what they are attracted to. There are a couple more paragraphs but I can’t even form the words to go against this woman’s hateful article. I’m a feminist and I celebrate all bodies, and I think this new fad could pave a way to an open, honest, and healthy discussion about bodies and being attracted to different bodies for all genders. I’m going to post links to different articles and I would like to discuss with you all what you think about this new fad, what it could mean to beauty standards to men and women, and what else this could impact.

This is probably my favorite article about this fad right now: http://elitedaily.com/life/problem-dad-bod-trend/1024023/

http://elitedaily.com/women/dadbod-fad-annoy/1016195/

Beer Bellies are in, Biceps are out: Introducing the Dad-bod

What is the Dad Bod and are women actually into it?

Mommy Blogger Fires Back Against ‘Dad Bod’ Physique (this is a video) Is there any articles that you would like me to read about this?

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One thought on “The “Dad Bod” Debate

  1. “But men never had to change themselves for women to find them attractive as women were/are taught to value a man by his intelligence, but a women is valued by her appearance. ” – Well, today’s different. Sure, I may not be judged solely on my looks – until women judgeme. That’s when my dadbod works against me. It’s not because women are evil. It’s the halo effect. It’s the same reason pretty women can be terrible people and guys let them get away with it.

    Dadbod is our version of fat acceptance. Accepting it will not widen the gap. It will just be our piece of fat acceptance, only we’re still expected to work out. Dadbod is not ‘fat’ or ‘plus sized’. It’s just a huge body, with muslces and around 20% fat.

    There is fat shaming and there is praising beautiful people. There’s no reason to stop praising beautiful people. If you’re too ugly for people to have sex with you, tough luck. The actual, real problem is that we let the halo effect that comes from beauty wreck havoc. All these discussions about body shaming and fat acceptance should move to this.

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